They slipped cold steel beneath my skin, leaving only moments left to this life. No one else stood in the room with me, but I sensed them just on the other side of the door. Rows of witnesses lined up in their seats behind the one-way mirror, as well, watching my fingers twitch in apprehension anticipation? I wasnt sure anymore. That part of my brain that should have been telling me what I was feeling must have shut down some time after the sentencing; I hadnt felt anything since then.
I remembered shuffling from the courtroom, assaulted by press. Who knew the bitch was so important? He only ever said she worked with the police; he never explained that she was almost one of them. Cops never take lightly to the death of their own my trial was fraught with threats. Lyle should have told me that; we told each other everything or so I thought. Guess not.
At least I knew hed be free after I was gone; his wife dead, secret boyfriend gone. No one would plague him for going into a gay bar every other night. He deserved the ability to choose a consort boyfriend, lover himself. My life felt like nothing compared to knowing that he wouldnt live under her thumb anymore. He was always incredibly sweet, strong; he just never knew how to say no. I hope he learned.
Theyd said I wouldnt feel anything except a little drowsiness as the first drug worked through my system. They lied because I felt it flowing through my veins. It went in both arms, down both legs, winding its fast, burning way up the inside of my thighs, racing up my neck. Next, it would infiltrate my heart; then Id be lost to the world. Id be dead in less than three minutes. I only had fifteen more seconds left awake.
I tilted my head up a bit, caught sight of the one-way mirror. He must have been on the other side of that mirror; surely, someone would have invited him. I imagined him, delicate hands combing through those thick, dark curls. Hed probably bite his lip, and I just wanted to see that angelface. I got thrills, goosebumps, every time I thought of the way those lips felt against my skin; it wasnt smart to be thinking of that as sleep slowly took hold. It didnt matter, though I would be dead before anything could happen. I stared at the place where his face should have been.
Then, I was sleeping more soundly than I ever had before. Memories began a slow, steady burn that turned into the last dream Id ever have. Would hell feel the same? If so, maybe it wouldnt be so horrible; Id lived in those memories of him for so long, Id become used to the flames they ignited. They scorched my skin, burning me with lust, passion. Yes, murder was definitely worth death. Especially with Lyle forever on my mind.